(completed September 4th, 1989)

RETIREMENT: Episode 7 - Crushing Blow!

Scene 1:

We reenter the story exactly where we left off. Brundo's about to crown Ace with his mallet, Ace is smiling at the Doctor in triumph over knocking Brundo out of the game, and the Doctor, seeing Brundo, is waving his arms and yelling... (Heck, this would also probably be the best place to put the Title sequence and credits to...)

DOCTOR: "Ace! Look Out behind you!!!"

Scene 2:

Frame of Ace and Brundo: Ace twirls around to see (gasp!) Brundo casually scratching his back with his croquet mallet, and whistling innocently.

Scene 3:

Ace looking back to the Doctor.

ACE: "What?"

Scene 4:

Scene of Announcer/Speaker. Maybe with a downward view showing the ball under the water and a couple of the friendly fish guarding it...

ANNOUNCER: "Count Brundo, please make a choice. Does your party wish to retrieve the ball or forfeit the game?"

Scene 5:

View of Brundo's eyes shining with evil delight as he comes up with the idea.

BRUNDO: "Yes. We'll retrieve the ball. Tin-Head! Get It!"

Scene 6:

Scene of the Doctor, Susan and Tin-Head. All with shock in their eyes (for Tin-Head I think this means that his eyes are huge black circle with little white dots in the middle...?) Tin-Head is in front of the other two so he can't see their statements.

BRUNDO: (off frame) "Or I will never take you home!"

SUSAN: "Tin-Head, you can't."

TIN-HEAD: "<Glup!> Yezzzir."

DOCTOR: "Don't bother Tin-Head, I'll definitely give you a ride home."

Scene 7:

To the surprise of Susan, Ace and the Doctor Tin-Head strides boldly toward the sea...

DOCTOR: "Tin-Head? For Goodness sakes, you'll be eaten alive!"

Scene 8:

Brundo is having the time of his life (laughing, etc. Maybe even slapping knee).

BRUNDO: "Doctor, shout all you want! He won't hear you! He's from the planet Valkarnt 5."

---- Projected next page

Scene 9:

Susan and the Doctor.

SUSAN: "Grand-father, isn't that the planet where all of the inhabitants are deaf?"

DOCTOR: "Egad! Yes! They have to communicate by reading lips! Tin-Head mustn't know about my offer!"

Scene 10:

Scene of the Doctor running to the edge of the beach. We can see Tin-Head's already over half way under the water.

DOCTOR: (shouting in vane) "Tin-Head. No!"

Scene 11, 12, and 13:

Scene of bubbles showing Tin-Head's path under the water.

Scene of Tin-Head's claw breaking the top of the water with the ball.

Scene of claw making a path of bubbles as it returns to the beach.

Scene 14:

Scene of Doctor, elated.

DOCTOR: "By Jove! He's going to make it!"

Scene 15:

Close-up of Doctor's feet as Tin-Head's claw (with the eaten remnants of the arm attached to it...) hits shore with the ball.

DOCTOR: "Tin-Head?"

Scene 16:

Scene of Doctor with Brundo behind him. Brundo's face is alight with devious delight. The Doctor's face is hard with pent anger and there's a tinge of a disturbed look to it. Heck, Brundo can even slap the Doctor on the back.

BRUNDO: "Ah, well, Doctor. That's life, ah?"

---- Projected next page

Scene 17:

The Doctor's back is to us as he walks into the sun-set (to think). Ace walks to him to try to comfort him, but it doesn't work. (Yes, yes I know you want Susan to pound Brundo's face-in, but for that we'd need to add another page... You don't really want to do another 5-pager, do you?).

ACE: "Professor, are you alright?"

DOCTOR: "Please, Ace. Leave me alone."

Scene 18:

Scene of Susan and Ace talking.

ACE: "I've never scene the Professor in such a mood before."

SUSAN: "I have... The night my father was killed."

ACE: "Oh? By the way, if the Prof's not your Grand-father, why do you call him that?"

SUSAN: "Oh, I'm sorry. I let my frustration get the best of me that day. I was referring to the fact that when a Gallifreyan graduates University and becomes a Time Lord, he renounces all ties to family."

Scene 19:

Susan and Ace foreground looking in the same direction (at the Doctor off-frame), while we see Qui'Ouder & Hyperia talking in the background. We can see that Qui'Ouder has just found out something very interesting.

ACE: "So the Professor is you Grand-Dad after all..."

We skillfully make the above a statement instead of a question, thus we, along with Ace assume that this is the case. But since we don't have Susan saying 'Yes, that's right', then we can't be accused of screwing up DW history should a later TV show say otherwise in the future... No?

ANNOUNCER: "Mouse party."

ACE: "Oops! Time for my next move!"

Scene 20:

Qui'ouder confronts the Doctor on the beach-front.

MUZZLE: "You lied to me! You had more than the Sun-Dial!"

DOCTOR: "Yes."

MUZZLE: "Why I'll, I'll..."

DOCTOR: "You'll what? Turn me in? Then maybe we can reveal how, and when, I got my Scavanger's Union card."

Scene 21:

We see Qui'Ouder walking away in defeat and over his shoulder we see the Doctor's face, and, hey guy, it's real disturbing. I mean this cat has obviously gone over the deep-end by the huge grin on his face and the way he's mumbling to himself.

DOCTOR: "Of course. <heh, heh, heh> Tick-ette."

Scene 22:

A montage scene of game play so we can get the feel of time passing without those "Time Passes" sort of narrative comments that you dislike so much...

----Projected next Page

Scene 23:

Scene of a ball coming to a stop a two feet in a straight-line in front of the last remaining two hoops and stake.

ANNOUNCER: "Excellent move Brundo. Mini Mouse, as the only other remaining player in the game, you may make your final move before Count Brundo wins."

Scenes 24, 25, 26, and 27:

Depressing scene of Ace, her ball just through the last corner hoop, has a good distance to go to even get close to the last two hoops, let alone the stake.

Ground level scene as we see Ace's mallet aiming her ball to send it to Brundo's in the vane hope of hitting Brundo's ball and using the extra turns to win the game.

ACE: If I can just hit Brundo's ball...

Ace hits her ball.

An over head view as we see her shot go bad as it arcs toward the right, there's no way it's going to hit Brundo's ball.

Scene 28:

Scene showing Ace's defeated face. In the background are the numerous no-longer-players who give a collective response except for Qui'Ouder:

CHORUS: "Aw!"

MUZZLE: "Ya'who!"

Scene 29:

Scene of Ace's ball as it's arc just happens to stop immediately after going through the first of the last two hoops.

Scene 30:

Scene showing Ace's astonished face. In the background, the numerous no-longer-players give a collective response except for Qui'Ouder: (Brundo's shocked face can also be seen in the background...)

CHORUS: "Yah!"

MUZZLE: "Ah, Poot."

ANNOUNCER: "Congratulations Mini! By going through the hoop, you've gained an extra turn with which you'll surely win the game!"

Scene 31, 32, and 33:

Scene of Ace aiming to go through the final hoop to hit the stake and win.

Scene of Ace being hit in face with the Doctor's flying hat.

Ground level scene of Ace's mallet hitting her ball sideways, totally missing the second hoop and leaving the path clear for Brundo's ball.

ANNOUNCER: "Tough break, Ace. Count Brundo, it's your turn."

Scene 34:

Over-head scene of Brundo hitting his ball. It goes through both hoops and hits the stake with a resounding <clak!>.

ANNOUNCER: "Good shot, Count. You win the tournament!"

Scene 35:

Ace stalking to the Doctor with her mallet in hand.

ACE: "Professor! How... How could you!"

Scene 36:

Scene of Doctor's face. Again, it's that weird, the-Doctor's-Gone-Over-The-Edge smile.

DOCTOR: "<heh, heh> I'm made sure that Brundo got what he deserves!"

Next episode: THAT'S THE TICKETTE!